


Cher

by damnslippyplanet



Category: Hannibal (TV)
Genre: Diary/Journal, Epistolary, Gen, Post-Episode: s02e13 Mizumono, everything is terrible and everything hurts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-04
Updated: 2015-12-04
Packaged: 2018-05-04 22:11:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 617
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5350292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/damnslippyplanet/pseuds/damnslippyplanet
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Will's post-Mizumono therapeutically-mandated journal, in the form of letters to Abigail. Because I am a terrible person and wish to inflict pain on my readership, apparently. You're welcome.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cher

Dear Abigail,

Did anyone ever call you Abby? Would I have started this letter Dear Abby and amused myself but not you because no teenager has ever found etiquette column jokes funny? I can’t quite picture it. You were old for your age. An Abigail always. Probably a serious little Abigail of a toddler.

I wonder what your parents fed you then. If it started younger than we know about. I doubt it, but I do wonder.

I’m delaying.

Your run of the mill hospital therapist is not equipped for my particular kind of crazy. They sent someone to poke at me halfheartedly, a terrified-rabbit-looking little thing. Dr. Levin. She doesn’t quite know what to do with me since I won’t take her medications and I know more about psychoanalysis than she does. She wants to know why I’m so resistant. I told her my last psychiatrist-patient relationship ended badly, and then I laughed a little too hard and a stitch popped and if she didn’t think I was crazy when she walked in the room, she thought it by the time she left. 

She’s suggested I journal. If I won’t work out my _issues_ with her, perhaps simply purging them will help. She’s an idiot. But if it will keep her off my back I’ll write until they let me out of here. But I refuse to start anything “Dear Diary” and so...you, Abigail. The only person I could think of I would want to write to. Almost the only person. 

I don’t do very well at keeping my friends alive. Someone should have warned you about that, about me. I suppose Freddie tried, in her way. Wouldn’t it be ironic if she was the only one of the whole lot of us who ever gave you good advice?

I hurt all over. Amazing how a single stab wound can radiate. Every time I move it’s like being cut all over again and I feel it right down to my toes. I bark at the nurses more than I should, but I’ve never been a good patient. It’s probably in my chart somewhere: “Bark equally as bad as bite. Keep your distance.” Good advice all around. This hospital is full of people who should have taken that advice. 

We pass messages through the nurses on occasion, when they’re in a good mood and things are slow. Alana says hello from somewhere on another floor. They think she’ll walk again, but not soon. I’ll probably be up first, so I’ll visit her eventually. I don’t know what we’ll have to say to each other.

I bet she cooperates beautifully with her therapist. She’s a believer in the process. Not being crazy probably helps with that. They won’t make her write nonsense to imaginary friends.

Jack has less to say. I imagine he has a lot of questions. I don’t want to answer them. I’m tired of questions. But I hear he’ll live. 

Sometimes when I wake up, in the first few moments, I think you’re here too. Sometimes sitting in a chair by my bed reading a book, or other times I just sense you’re in the hospital somewhere. If you were, I would pass you messages too. Your questions, I would answer. We would talk about him.

And there’s the rest of what I’m delaying, I suppose.

A whole letter and I haven’t said his name. I suppose I will, eventually. It would be easier if I knew whether I hated him.

That will have to be enough to satisfy my rabbity doctor for the day, Abigail. I’m putting this aside now. I’m so tired. More another day. I’ll see you by the river, _cher_.

**Author's Note:**

> This is probably going to be a sporadic one, my dears. I'm not entirely sure how much of it there's going to be. I just got bitten by a plot bunny with very painful teeth and. Well. Here we are. Enjoy your sadness. Feel free to yell at me here or [over on Tumblr](http://damnslippyplanet.tumblr.com)


End file.
